Kickin It Old School

Here's another look into comics past.

Today's excavation revealed a real gem. Here we have Action Comics #386 published in 1970 by DC Comics (of course). The legendary Curt Swan depicted Superman and his fellow future heroes, while Cary Bates guided those pencils with the story. First things first, this story is no where near as goofy and silly as I would have liked it to be. You'd think that with a title like "The Home for Old Super-Heroes" you'd get to see a lot of great sight gags like Mister Miracle having trouble getting out of his chair and Batman getting lost on the way to the batroom (not a typo). Instead, the tale serves as al allegory for company owned super-heroes that seems incredibly relevant today.

But before I get ahead of myself, the details. Superman is in the future because he got tricked by the Time-Trapper (guess what his powers are) into going into the future, then, when Supes tried to go back to his own time, he couldn't because the Time-Trapper put a time-barrier in the way. Our boy can still go into the future though. In this issue he finds himself in the year 121,970 on an Earth that has outlawed superpowers because two male aliens and a female came to Earth and made things better. Of course, they didn't stay that way once the two male aliens started fighting over the female one. Their battle caused all kinds of radiation and the ruling that superpowers be outlawed. Superman, after violating this rule twice, gets transported to the planet Diodn which houses the Super Old Folks Home. Oh yeah, you may be wondering why Superman resembles Clint Eastwood, well that's because the Legion Time Bubble he was using to travel through time was defective and he aged the 100,000 years that he traveled through. I think he looks dapper. Anyway, the geniuses of the future thought it would be a good idea to put a massive silo holding radioactive materials in the middle of the city. Well, something happens and the silo may explode, so Supes and the other heroes travel to Earth and fix things, then Supes goes even further into the future.

Now, back to the allegory, and trust me, it's not perfect, just something that makes sense 30 years later when the comic industry is making money both off of established characters and new creations. After three days on Didon, Superman finds that their main pastime is sitting around and watching films of their old exploits. These are old, tired heroes that no one wants anymore. Could the same be said for Superman himself today? Some would say it about any characters that you can't really change due to their popularity and history. Superman makes a speech to rally the older heroes (he refers to them as "oldters" in his thoughts) with the following: "Don't throw away this chance, men...we can prove to Earth that superpowers shouldn't be taboo...and that we're not has-beens who've forgotten how to use them!" Inspiring words. I think they hold pretty true. Even to this day those old guys are holding their own in the midst of all kinds of new, up and comers. Good luck oldsters.