HULK HATE STUPID FANBOYS!

With apologies to the Hulk's Diary.

HULK HATE STUPID FANBOYS! STUPID FANBOYS RUIN COMICS BY BUYING CRAPPY COMICS! HULK HATE CRAPPY COMICS LIKE COUNTDOWN AND IDENTITY CRISIS! EVEN TO HULK IT OBVIOUS THAT COUNTDOWN BAD! HULK NOT NEED TO EXPLAIN! HULK JUST NEED TO SAY IT IS! IF FANBOY ASK WHY COMIC BAD, HULK SAY: “BECAUSE OF STUPID ART AND STUPID WRITING, STUPID”. FANBOYS STUPID BECAUSE THEY LIKE STUPID COUNTDOWN! IF HULK KEEP ON MAKING FANBOYS FEEL STUPID ABOUT LIKING COUNTDOWN, THEY STOP BUYING STUPID COMICS! HULK SMART! HULK KNOW HOW TO CONVINCE PEOPLE TO LIKE WHAT HULK LIKES! IF NOT, HULK WILLING TO SPEND ALL NIGHT TELLING STUPID FANBOYS HOW STUPID THEY ARE!

HULK HATE PRETENTIOUS FANBOY WRITERS LIKE GEOFF JOHNS! FANBOY JOHNS READS TOO MANY COMICS! HULK LIKE COMICS, BUT JOHNS’ CONTINUITY REFERENCES MAKE HULK’S HEAD HURT! HULK HATE JOHNS ALMOST AS MUCH AS HULK HATE MANGA! MANGA NOT REAL COMICS! REAL COMICS AREN’T POPULAR! MANGA POPULAR! MANGA NOT REAL COMICS!

HULK LOVE PRETENTIOUS INTELLECTUAL FANBOY WRITERS LIKE GRANT MORRISON THAT MIX SUBTLE IRONY WITH CHILDLIKE LOVE FOR ICONS OF NOSTALGIA! MORRISON MAKE HULK FEEL GOOD! HULK WANT TO GO HOME AND READ SKRULL KILL KREW ALL OVER AGAIN! HULK WISH MORRISON WOULD WRITE HULK! MORRISON WOULD MAKE HULK APPEALING TO HIPSTER SENSIBILITIES!

HULK LIKE ABHAY CRITIQUE OF COUNTDOWN! ABHAY NEXT JONATHAN SWIFT! ABHAY MAKE FUN OF SUPERHERO COMIC! HULK KNOW IT DIFFICULT TO MAKE FUN OF SUPERHERO COMIC! ABHAY MAKE JOKE ABOUT SUPERHEROES URINATING! HULK LAUGH REALLY HARD AT THAT! ABHAY NEXT COMIC GENIUS! HE FUNNIER THAN CARROT TOP!

HULK ALSO LIKE MAKING SNARKY COMMMENTS TO BRING ATTENTION TO HULK! HULK LIKE ATTENTION! HULK NOT CARE IF YOU THINK HULK STUPID! HULK NOT CARE IF YOU THINK HULK JERK! JUST AS LONG AS HULK GETS NOTICED!

ALL THIS WRITING MAKE HULK TIRED! HULK GOING TO TAKE NAP! HULK NEED TO GET UP EARLY TO GET NEXT ISSUE OF WIZARD! HULK HATE WIZARD, BUT HULK LIKE TO MAKE FUN OF STUPID FANBOY ARTICLES! WIZARD SAYS ALL COMICS GOOD, THAT WHY HULK HATE IT! ALSO, HULK MIGHT FIND ARTICLE ABOUT MORRISON! DID HULK MENTION HOW MUCH HULK LOVE MORRISON?