What makes a superhero? The tights, of course!

This just in! It appears, contrary to previous claims, that real men do wear tights. The Saratoga, N.Y., Saratogian has the details on this late-breaking story:

... It wasn't until I was surrounded by the Justice League superheroes -- who will be spending their summer at The Great Escape & Splashwater Kingdom -- that the realization set in that these tights were far more than stretchy, crime-fighting legwear. They are part of the heroic persona itself.

Batman came to be in the spring of 1939, a black-winged vigilante introduced in the pages of a comic book, clutching a criminal in a sleeper hold as he swung on a rope across the Gotham City skyline.

When he was a young boy, he had the unfortunate circumstance of witnessing his parents being killed. He put on a pair of tights and vowed to fight crime until the very end.

A year after the introduction of Batman, he took in his sidekick, Robin. The 'Boy Wonder' -- as he came to be known -- grew up as a member of the Grayson family circus. He too watched his own parents' death at the hands of a crime lord who sabotaged the high wire they were balancing on. The horror inspired young Grayson to also don a pair of tights and battle the bad guys as the other half of the Dynamic Duo.

Tune in tomorrow, when The Saratogian answers the ages-old question, "Do real men eat quiche?"